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IFL returns, honoring the traditions originally founded by Chairman Kiowa and his search to find the best of the best.

Who among you will find a spot in the Chairman's Garden?

"Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price." - Sun Tzu
November 2021

December 2021

January 2022

The Playoff Picture – 12/6 Update
Kalamere - December 6th, 2021 - 10:20pm

As testament to how tight this season is running, we’ve had 7 bouts and closed out week 4 since the last update, and we still only know half of the teams who will make the playoffs and NONE are ruled out! The only real change since the last time we had this chat is that King’s Gambit earned their way in.

So, despite Xanth winning. Twice. Gren winning. Twice. and a handful of other bouts that advanced the cause, there are still a ton of questions out there. Do I have answers for you? Of course not. I just have some back of the napkin math to toss out there and probably complicate things more.

Here’s the run down.

Team Fist: In or Out: In – Rank: 1-3.

The week 5 matchup between TMF and KGM is the fight for 1st place. Both teams have locked in their spot in the post season by having 3 match wins through week 4, and now they’re just fighting for top bidding. Both captains have already fought, though sadly not against each other because, at least personally speaking, I think that might have been more interesting. Never-the-less, Matt and Xanth both won their matchups and we’re now looking at a 1 point edge to TMF with the Push and Crutch bouts left to go. The team who wins takes the regular season crown. The team that losses.. well.. something else. Three match wins means they can’t fall below a 3rd place finish because only one of RRD or TNB can match that. If TMF loses this match and TNB beats Hope and co., then the Outback favorites take second place since; at worst, they’d be tied in bouts won and TMF won the head-to-head. If it’s RRD that comes out on top though, then TMF is going to drop down to 3rd seed. At best (in a losing scenario vs KGM) TMF would hold 11 bouts won. Hope’s crew has 10 already and can’t win their match without at least 1 more, which results in a bout wins tie. Since RRD took them to school back in week 3, they hold the secondary tie breaker and would claim the higher seed.

King’s Gambit: In or Out: In – Rank: 1-3

Xanth only needed 3 points to collect a week 4 win for his crew, but he collected the bout victory anyway, and then went on to rack up another in the opening bout of week 5 vs TMF. The question that remains is whether or not the rest of his team can pull this out. At 3-0 on the season, Xanth now accounts for a full 1/3rd of his team’s bout wins, leaving the rest at 6-9. A match win puts them at the top of the league. A match loss and, just like TMF, they’ll be looking at tie breakers with either RRD or TNB to see who claims second. Also, just like TMF, they won the head-to-head vs TNB while dropping it to RRD. They edge out TNB already unless the new kids sweep all the remaining bouts, so they probably want 1 more bout win in a losing effort for that insurance. If RRD comes out on top and they’re both sitting at 3-2 though, then just like TMF, they’ll drop to 3rd place.

Real RhyDin: In or Out: ?? – Rank: 2-4

What’s weird here is that these guys won against the league’s top 2 teams and lost against the league’s bottom 2 teams. In impressive style too! They whipped King’s Gambit by 20! But then got man handled by Deathcake and lost by 19. What’s going to happen when they face an outfit that’s in the middle of the pack? Gren got them up in the first bout recorded, so they lead now by 4 – but this was the Anchor bout and leaves a whole lot of point our there to be claimed. Of the teams without 3 wins already, RRD is in the best position to get to the post season. A win seals it and actually pulls out a 2nd place season finish (see above). A loss means they are looking at a tie breaker with the winner of the DCK vs ROC match. 1 more bout win seals the deal in a faceoff with DCK, since Sal’s crew could sweep the rest of that match and still only get to where RRD is today. A ROC win, though, is more interesting. ROC could amass as many as 12 bout wins by the end of this, while RRD wouldn’t have more than 11, maybe 12 in a highly unlikely scenario, and ROC holds the head-2-head. So, really, these guys want to win the match and/or root for Deathcake at this point.

Team New Blood: In or Out: ?? – Rank: 3-4

The New Kids need two strong wins to come back and win week 5 to advance into the playoffs as the 3rd seed. Winning all 3 would be nice for them, but really has no impact to their final seeding at this point. If they lose though, then things are pretty dicey. They could still win 2 bouts and lose the match, thus ending with 9 bouts won on the season. DCK would have to match that to come out on top over ROC, where TNB would take the tie breaker. DCK could still sweep to win though, which would give them a 1 bout edge and the nod for the playoffs. If Kruger’s gang comes out on top though, then it’s over. The Rockers already hold 9 bouts won and would need at least 1 more to come out the victors. Just like Hope and company, they want to win this while rooting for DCK, only with the exception that they’re now down in this match, so I hope they’ve ordered their DCK t-shirts and coffee mugs already.

The Rock Hards: In or Out: ?? – Rank: 4

Doran put up and import first bout win over Droet in the Push match and put Kruger’s crew into the lead position. It’s a big first step, but was also a narrow win so there is plenty of opportunity for DCK to get back in there. At best we’re looking at a 4th seed playoff berth for the Rocker’s, but they actually look pretty strong right now and have a legitimate shot at it. They need to win the match. That’s step one. Lose and we’ll be done talking about them until next Fall. A win isn’t a lock, but they look really good in a tie breaker vs TNB and not altogether terrible if it’s RRD. There are 3 bouts left and they really only need 1 to take the match. They probably want 2 to put themselves in the best position though.

Deathcake: In or Out: ?? – Rank: 4

Basically everything I just said about ROC, only they are far more desperate for the wins. Even if they sweep the 3 remaining bouts to take the W, they’d need RRD to drop all of theirs, if that’s who we’re comparing to. For simplicity’s sake, they need RRD to finish off New Blood while they take down ROC. They’ll need 2 bout wins to take this match, and that could be enough… but they’ll likely need all 3.

Week Five Predictions IFL 2021
Intern Liovanni - November 29th, 2021 - 06:34pm

Normally I’d give a recap of the previous week, tally up my score, comment on the upsets. But half of the Week Four fights aren’t even over yet! The only thing we know is that Team Fist wins against Deathcake, contrary to my predictions. Thanks a lot, Dean

And so we turn to Week Five. Team Fist is the only team guaranteed the playoffs, because regardless of Runt vs Kuwabara, TMF has won Week Four. Now, some might say that KGM is also playoff bound. But there is an outside chance that Jackson performs exceptionally well and gives TNB the win, sitting KGM at 2-2 and TNB at 3-1. Without knowing the Main Card outcome, KGM set up a strong lineup versus TMF just in case. RRD is another one that has an outside chance of losing their playoff spot, and with Doran landing a solid win in Anchor for ROC in week four, the Rock Hards are in perfect position to play spoiler for RRD’s playoff chances. Long story short, only one thing is certain: IFL kicks ass. 

In addition to six Week Four fights, this week we will watch King’s Gambit vs. Team Fist, Team New Blood vs. Real RhyDin, and The Rock Hards vs. Deathcake. All of these fights are worth watching, so if you haven’t subscribed to Sync, do so now!

TLDR; Here is my better than a 50/50 prediction: Deathcake gets a solid win, hoping for an outside chance at the playoffs, King’s Gambit shows Team Fist they can’t get too cocky, and no one knows what will happen with New Blood at Real RhyDin, but if I have to choose it’s the Reign On champions by a sliver. 

King’s Gambit at Team Fist
Team Fist is clearly setting themselves up for playoffs. Crunchem, their All-Star, sits out this week with the hope of getting Powerhouse ranking next season. Runt and Koy are in, probably trying to get a rank increase before the playoffs. And Matt is hoping that the Iron Fist pressure will shake out a solid performance. KGM, on the other hand, is pulling no punches. Captain Van Bokkelen doesn’t want to leave anything to chance, and they’ve already maxed out their rank increases. We see heavy hitters like Bile, Xanth, and Olaf in the front lines. Given that Renley and Sophia already have three fights, it’s no surprise that Anubis is out there too (though Li was a definite possibility). 

These two teams are evenly matched, and trade wins across IFL seasons. This year, I predict that chaos will reign supreme, King’s Gambit, 26-22

Anchor: Xanth vs. Dean

Without the results of Captain Van Bokkelen vs. Jackson, it’s hard to know what sort of momentum and psyche is coming to bear in this match. That’s a lie. I’m pretty sure Xanth’s psyche is all about death and destruction. Dean came out of a real nail-biter with hot-shot Droet last week, and is #1 on the Leaders board right now. The last time these two fought in IFL was back in 2017, Team Fist versus Great of Strength. I think this could go either way, it will be another tough match. But I think Dean has some kind of momentum with him now. Bring a holy symbol, Dean, 5-4, sudden death.   

Crutch: Anubis vs. Runt

Who do you send up against a giant? The lich? The undead servant? The chaotic trunk? The blindman? I mean, there has to be an advantage to not seeing Runt. How can you be intimidated when he’s just yelling gibberish at you? This team has perfected the art of looking down at their enemies with indifference, disdain, or condescension. But none has perfected it as well as Anubis. I think the Egyptian Lord can look down upon Runt even if the giant is towering over him. At least the unkillable Anubis will survive as Runt tries bashing him to pieces, 5-3.

Push: Bile vs. Koyliak

The Masochistic Fashionista, Holy Lady of the Eternal Stiletto will find a brutal matchup with the conniving and evil-hearted Bile. As of right now, Bile is just outside of getting Powerhouse ranking next year. These two have fought before, in 2017 Team Fist versus Great of Strength, similar to Xanth and Dean. Koy lost then and she will lose again this week, but she will look gorgeous every minute of it. Bile, 5-3.  

Iron Fist: Olaf vs. Matt

I can’t tell if Matt put himself in the IF because pressure matches no longer phase him, or because he was trying to give Crunchem and Dean a week off. I’m not surprised to see Olaf there, he hasn’t fought much this season, but in 2020 he held the IF spot twice for his team. The trunk’s uncanny chaos is a shield to any sort of jitters that comes with the seriousness of a Main Card fight. According to my notes here, The Trunk fought Matt once in an Outback fight, winning the sudden death match with a… spider. Yes, Olaf spat a spider at Matt’s face. How do you fight something like that? Olaf, 5-4

Team New Blood at Real RhyDin

Team New Blood is doing very well this season for a group of (mostly) unseasoned fighters. Given the current state of their fight versus KGM, and facing up against RRD this week, Morgan LaFey has to look at a strong season finish and doesn’t have the luxury of aiming for maximum rank increases. Jackson is currently in position to get Powerhouse next season, and if he wins one he gets another rank increase before the playoffs. I’m a little surprised to see Anya out there, but I’m glad she made it back from the Wilds! Scarlett is no surprise, she’s one of their strongest fighters and they need someone to carry against all of the RRD mod advantages. On the flip-side, Jaycy and Hope could both get rank increases this season which is why they are out on the field again. 

Despite their name, Team New Blood is not to be underestimated. But Real RhyDin are the reigning champs for a reason, RRD, 25-23. If anyone is going to flip that score, it will be Scarlett in the Crutch match. 

Anchor: Anya vs. Gren

Anya’s back from the Wilds and hopefully in one piece! Gren, another friend of the fern and trees, is her opponent. Anya, just bring a bunch of plant samples, acorns, or fungi. Tell him about all the trees you saw and how to find North based on where the moss grows. Gren loves that crap… er… greenery. You’ll distract him in no time! Ranger to Ranger, it’s bound to be polite and lovely. I think Anya’s monster-slaying arm is mightier than Gren’s tree-hugging muscles. Anya, 5-3.  

Crutch: Scarlett vs. Eden

Scarlett’s somewhat unpredictable style is working very well for her. Only one loss to Renley, and I think she just got stuck in a particular mindset. Watching the replays you can see her focus narrow a bit at the end of the last match, holding back from the good old reliable punch. She has a favorite move though, trying to lure in her attackers with tricky feints. Eden doesn’t tend to do anything fancy or showy. She’s a traditional fighter, keeping it to basic but reliable combos. I think Scarlett might get a bit too much into her own head here, and for that, Eden, 5-4. 

Push: Jackson vs. Jaycy

While the Diamond herself isn’t performing well this season, her mentee Jackson is tearing up the Leaders board. I suspect Morgan and a few other teammates are helping to refine his style. Jackson is also out there having fun, and sometimes that’s all you need to secure a win. Jaycy is middle of the pack this season, a win against Olaf and losing to her boss Matt. The redhead is going to put up one hell of a fight, but it’s still Jackson, 5-4. 

Iron Fist: Herne vs. Hope

Hope is back in the hot seat! Herne, back in the hot seat! They have, ironically, both fought Crunchem in an Iron Fist match this season. Let’s flashback to the ye olde past of Weeks 2 and 3. In Week 3, Hope won a tight sudden death fight against Crunchem, 6-5. In Week Two, Crunchem smashed Herne 5-3. Herne is wild, willing to throw out a risky move when he’s down 4-3, which cost him the fight against Crunchem. Hope is also kind of wild, willing to use the same risky maneuver in a sudden death match, which won her fight against Crunchem. Hope knows how to deal with unpredictable fighters, and when to try something gusty, and so Hope wins this 5-3

The Rock Hards at Deathcake

To have a shot at the playoffs, the Rock Hards need to win against Real RhyDin in Week Four AND Deathcake in Week Five. Deathcake is in a similar boat, and also needs to win against the Rock Hards for their playoff spot. Both teams need RRD and/or TNB to have some key losses in both Weeks Four and Five in order for this to work. While many consider this an outside chance, it is still a chance. And once you’re in the playoffs, it’s a whole new IFL. Dizzy and Sal can both get rank increases which will help them if they get to the playoffs. I do think Rekah should have been put into the lineup, especially given that Droet already has a third fight. But you never know who is nursing an injury or if someone has a family emergency. From the ROC side, Maggie needs a second fight and it doesn’t surprise me that Kruger has put her in the IF. Haru was also due for a third fight, and might get some rank out of it. 

Altogether, I think Kruger is trying to give his team both a shot at playoffs but also build them up for future seasons. In the meantime, Deathcake wins this matchup 29-18.  

Anchor: Rachael vs. Dizzy

Both of these women have spent many years fighting IFL, and as such, have fought each other twice. Back in 2014 when Dizzy was part of Royal Pain, and again in 2019 as part of the Powerhouse Party. Dizzy took wins home from both of those matchups, and Rachael is on a long losing streak spanning two seasons. Occasionally, Rachael can pull out some key wins against opponents like Xanth or or Matt Simon. But this season it will be Dizzy again, 5-3.

Crutch: Haru vs. Gatito

Haru is back in the Crutch match! We still don’t know his performance against Kheldar from Week Four, but Kruger is confident in Haru’s overall abilities. Gatito just finished a marathon match against Karma. Twenty glorious rounds. Even if Karma won that, Gatito showed his mettle as a league fighter. These two fought in the last Diamond Quest and Gatito had a solid 5-2 win. Earlier this year they also fought a slug match for the Fistmelda Tusk, and Gatito won again. I predict that once more it will be Gatito, 5-3

Push: Doran vs. Droet

Doran is coming off a solid victory against the Diamond, and Droet is sitting with two losses now while Doran is riding a winning wave. A momentary aside: every damn time I try to spell Droet’s name my FreeDocText (FDT) file keeps auto-correcting it to Drought. Which I find hilarious since he’s a fire tiefling that sizzles every time water touches him. As for the prediction, Doran’s fighting keeps getting better and better every week. Doran, 5-4, sudden death

Iron Fist: Maggie vs. Salvador

Maggie has been in some high pressure fights in and out of IFL, and even if her performance last season was a string of losses you want to build on experience. Sal is dead even, with a win against Michelle in Week Two and a loss against the unstoppable Crunchem in Week Four. While Maggie does have a win this season, Sal’s opponents have definitely been tougher. These two fought just the other night, a nice friendly competition, and Sal won 5-2. Earlier this year, Sal won again 5-4 not just once, but twice. In one of those, Sal was even down 4-1 before walking it back. Clearly, Salvador has Maggie’s number. Sal, 5-3

And now I need eight ounces of water and a five mile run as the coffee jitters make it nigh impossible to type another word. Go get bloody!

2021 Playoff Race
Kalamere - November 30th, 2021 - 07:28am

The playoffs are right around the corner, with just week 5 bouts and a handful from week 4 left to go, so it’s time to take a look at where we stand. Who’s in, who’s out and what the final rankings might look like. All teams still have a shot to get in, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy. What strange twists of fate do the Rock Hards need to make it happen? What might captain futility fumble to lose out on the top seed?

Let’s take a look.

Team Fist: In or Out: In, Rank: ?

Leading Deathcake 26-11, with only the Crutch bout left to be fought, the Outback crew has a lock on their 3rd win (and will keep DCK from earning their 2nd) which is enough to secure a playoff spot. Since neither the Rockers or Sal’s crew can reach that mark, 3 is the magic number to earn the bid.

As far as seeding, they are in the driver’s seat to take the top slot. Week 5 is huge here though. There is a pretty high likelihood that they stand tied at 3-1 records with KGM and will be facing off against Xanth’s crew in the final week. If that’s the case, then the winner takes the top slot. If not, then it’ll be TNB they’re tied with in record and things get a touch more complicated, though a win in week 5 still gets them most of the way there.

King’s Gambit: In or Out: ?, Rank ?

In the week 4 battle between two 2-1 teams, KGM currently holds an 8 point lead and a good chance to lock in a playoff spot. Xanth doesn’t need to win the Iron Fist bout to secure the match win at this point, he just needs to put 3 on the board to lock it up. If he can do that (and, this is one man team Xanth we’re talking about, so the odds are pretty good that he can), then he’ll carry his team into week 5 vs TMF to duke it out for first place. On the other hand, if Jackson puts on a clinic and the kid pulls out a win for the New Bloods, then KGM goes into the final week fighting for a slot. A week 5 win locks them in, while another loss would take things down to the bout win tie breaker. That could get interesting since they currently trail both RRD and ROC in that department.

Team New Blood: In or Out: ?, Rank ?

Jackson is shouldering a lot of weight going into Thursday night’s bout with Xanth. If he can win AND keep Xanth from putting up 3 points, then TNB will claim their 3rd win of the season and a playoff bid. If not, then we’re looking to a week 5 match against last season’s champions, who are going to be pretty pissed off after dropping what should have been a give-me against the Rockers. They need one of those matches to grab a playoff slot the easy way, otherwise it’s going to come down to bout wins.

Real RhyDin: In or Out: ?, Rank ?

What happened here?? Against an 0-3 Rock Hards team, RRD is down 3 bouts to nil and behind by 14 points! There is nothing Gren can do to salvage a win out of this one, even if he blanks Amaris in 5 tonight, Kruger’s crew will take the match win. That actually makes his winning all the more important though, because they may need those bout wins (8 currently, topped only by TMF) to lock up a tie breaker. Let’s not assume we need that just yet though. Week 5 sees them up against TNB and a good possibility of them being tied at 2-2 on the season. The winner there is going to the playoffs regardless of what happens. So where are we with RRD? Is this a slump that risks their season flaming out entirely? Or is this a wake-up call that’ll see them coming into week 5 with a vengeance and a chance to repeat as Champions?

The Rock Hards: In or Out: ?, Rank ?

Last week I probably would have told you the Rockers were done for. 0-3 and up against the defending champs, it looked pretty hopeless. Now, however, they have locked in their first win of the season and face off against fellow basement dwellers DCK in week 5. Ontop of that, they now hold 8 bout wins which is on the high end (tied with RRD, 1 behind TMF) and could set them up for the tie breaker if they can get into contention. ROC and DCK are our long shots for a playoff bid though and only one of them can even get into consideration. To make it, ROC is going to need a win in week 5 and the more bout wins the better because their match record can’t seal the position. Rather, a 2-3 final record will put them in a position with some other teams to see who won the most bouts. They could be riding high after wrecking RRD though, so look out for these guys in the final stretch.

Deathcake: In or Out: ?, Rank: ?

Week 4 will end in a loss to TMF to tie them 1-3 with ROC at the bottom of the pile. To make it to the post season they have got to then beat the Rockers in their week 5 head to head. Doing so will earn them a 2-3 record and send us into the tie breaker rules for who gets the nod to advance. DCK has what it takes to pull that off, but they are going to need to do so in impressive style in order to advance. They currently have the fewest bout wins recorded (6) which makes this an uphill climb, and they don’t look good for the head to head tie breaker if it comes to that, since they’ve lost to both TNB and KGM. Minimally they’ll need to win 3 of their 5 remaining bouts, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable with fewer than 4.

Week Four Predictions IFL 2021
Intern Liovanni - November 23rd, 2021 - 12:31am

Annnnnnnnnd we’re back!

Recap from the previous week, King’s Gambit pulled out a tight win versus Deathcake as predicted, though Deathcake eeked out two more points than suspected. Real RhyDin continues to defy my predictions, doing the exact opposite every damn week. And we still don’t know the outcome of TNB vs ROC, all of it rides on Rachael Blackthorne and the mysterious Herne the Hunter. Our Sudden Death matches this week included Bile vs Dizzy, Yuzuki vs Anubis, Hope vs Crunchem, and Ettyn vs Doran. Some very clean fighting from Doran and Yuzuki, you can see their growth throughout the season. Crunchem looked like he was going to give me a win in the predictions column, then Hope clawed her way up to sudden death until the match ended 6-5 with a spinkick. Gutsy. 

With the past (almost) behind us we turn to Week Four, the penultimate week of the regular IFL Season! Apparently some people (not interns) get holidays and so this week actually takes fourteen days, meaning it will overlap with Week Five. Spectators can look forward to Cursed Desserts vs Punchinnaface, Evil Emperors vs Vampire Delicacies, and Kruger’s Concert vs Reality TV Stars.

The headline version of this article: 

Dessert fans celebrate as Deathcake wins against the pugilists! 

Jackson proves why he should be Rookie of the Year leading fellow Rookies to victory!

Real RhyDin predicted to win once more, but reality television is never what you expect! 

Deathcake at Team Fist
It seems that Deathcake is alternating between wins and losses this season, and by that logic they are aiming to win. Team Fist had some excellent momentum before the chaotic movie stars (RRD) won three matches in a row. Team Fist went undefeated last season, winning against Deathcake in the regulation weeks, only to lose to Deathcake a week later in the playoffs. Brutal. Both teams have put up a strong lineup, though perhaps we’re a bit surprised about the Main Card bout. Once again I predict a very tight match, Deathcake 26-23. If any bout is going to flip that, it will be the Crutch match.  

Anchor: Gatito vs. Karma

Not really surprised to see Gatito out this week, considering he’s only had one bout so far. He’s got a Heavyweight advantage, leaving Karma in the unfortunate position of fighting up the mods. According to the Outback records, they’ve had three fights against each other, one to sudden death, and two in favor of Karma, including the most recent Diamond Quest. Looking at the scores though, they are well matched fighters. Gut says Karma, 5-4, sudden death match. 

Crutch: Yuzuki vs. Runt

Despite the huge size difference, these two are very evenly matched in IFL and in regulation DoF fights. Runt made a remarkable comeback against Mira earlier this season, but Yuzuki has managed not just one, but two sudden death victories against Gren and Anubis. Yuzuki’s fighting is tight and clean, and the one time they fought in regulation Yuzuki kicked down the giant 5-2. This one goes to Kuwabara, 5-4

Push: Salvador vs. Crunchem

Why isn’t this the Main Card fight? No disrespect to Droet and Dean, but I expected these two killers to be in the Iron Fist. The captains obviously know something I don’t. Regardless, I expect this fight to be another tight bout just like the Anchor and the Crutch. Crunchem brings the teeth of a car crusher, Salvador brings the killer instinct of a hippopotamus; aggressive and unpredictable. Good thing ogres eat hippos! Crunchem, 5-4

Iron Fist: Droet vs. Dean

There is a new tiefling strutting around these days: Droet the Brazen. After winning Firestar, the Slugfest tournament, and his perfect shut out versus Hope, he thinks he’s on fire in more ways than one. Dean, on the other hand, has the perfect face for a wall sized poster and a humble demeanor that just draws you in. He’s also got a lot of experience against hot-shots. However, whether it’s talent or just pure bravado, Droet wins 5-3

King’s Gambit at Team New Blood

We are still waiting to find out the results for Team New Blood in week three, but Jackson and Scarlett are carrying their team right now, so I’m not surprised to see them in both the Push and Iron Fists bouts. King’s Gambit’s wins are spread out a bit more evenly, with Bile undefeated. Although it’s going to be tight, like many matches this season, I predict Jackson will lead his team to victory: Team New Blood, 24-20

Anchor: Sophia vs. Morgan

Morgan LaFey is having a rough IFL season, and most duelers have been in that boat before. Sophia has a solid record overall, winning her most recent Iron Fist match. Looking at Morgan’s fighting style I think he has the potential to get some solid wins, he just needs to tweak a few things. For example, his propensity to go for the legs when his opponent is at match point. It takes time to look at your style and figure out your weak spots, and I think Sophia is going to find them before he does. Sophia, 5-3

Crutch: Bile vs. Mira

Right now Bile is on a two season five win streak, while Mira was moments away from shutting out Runt before losing in a high scoring 6-5 match. There is something about New Blood’s unpredictability that can rattle even the most experienced duelists, but Bile is one ruthless assistant. Bile, 5-2

Push: Renley vs. Scarlett

We’ve got Renley and his adorable pupper Icabod versus Scarlett. Scarlett’s IFL record is consistently solid, and she just blew away Kruger in the Iron Fist match last week. Renley’s performance is a bit more inconsistent, and looking at the strength of their opponents Scarlett may have the edge based on how tough her matches have been. Renley barely won against Amaris, and only got two points in against Michelle; whereas Scarlett’s victories have been 5-1 and 5-3. Overall, Scarlett is just having a stronger season here, and will take this match 5-2

Editor’s note: This match was completed before the predictions were published, but the predictions were made before the match began. Congratulations Renley on your 5-3 victory!

Iron Fist: Xanth vs. Jackson

I’m calling it right now, Jackson is going to be Rookie of the Year. That’s my professional opinion as an underpaid Intern. Like Bile, Xanth is on a two season win streak with four consecutive wins. However, none of those have been Iron Fists fights. Jackson has fought some tough opponents, and he is excelling in regulation matches. This is my upset of the week for you, Jackson, 5-3

The Rock Hards at Real RhyDin

The Rock Hards are always just a few points away from a win, and I think if they just had matchups that were slightly more in their favor the team could really make a break away. Real RhyDin’s job is to defy my predictions, whatever they may be, and be as chaotic as possible. Sweep KGM in week one, nearly swept by DCK in week two, and back to near-sweep territory in week three. If the pattern holds, ROC is in good shape for an upset! But if I predict ROC wins, then really RRD wins because dammit they never listen. So in that case, it’s Real RhyDin, 30-16.

Anchor: Doran vs. Michelle

The younger Ilnaren hasn’t quite hit his IFL stride yet, but you can see him getting there. Tighter matches, pulling out clutch sudden death wins — it’s coming together for him. Michelle had a brief win streak, but recently lost to DCK captain Salvador Delahada. Apparently the pressure is too much for her, so she’s stuck in the Anchor match. I don’t think Michelle has ever fought Doran, but she went head-to-head with Ilnaren the Elder for the Diamond. The rest week will have worked in Michelle’s favor, 5-3

Crutch: Haru vs. Kheldar

By the numbers, Haru is the best overall player that ROC has with a 0.83 season PDPB. Now, that’s a little skewed because Kruger and Rachael have many more IFL duels, but compared to the others Haru is the best ‘young one’ they have. Kheldar has thirty eight duels and is one of Real RhyDin’s solid fighters. They both have one win so far this season, so neither of them is fighting momentum. But I bet Kheldar has cat allergies. I can just feel it. Haru, 5-4

Push: Mairead vs. Hope

I think we’ve seen this matchup before… oh wait! We did! In 2020 Week 5 Mairead versus Hope in a Push bout, and Hope won 5-3. Hope has the best IFL record of duelists with more than twenty bouts under their name. Mairead is turning the corner on her record with a 5-1 victory over Koyliak. But as my grandparent says, history will repeat itself. Hope, 5-3

Iron Fist: Amaris vs. Gren

Well, Kruger is definitely trying something new here. We all know Diamond’s are formed under pressure, so maybe he’s thinking that the Iron Fist bout will give Amaris the bump she needs to land a win for the team. Looking at Amaris’s bouts from this season there are a few simple adjustments she could make to really be an IF contender. For example, she hasn’t thrown a straight-forward punch once this entire season. In fifteen rounds, not a single jab! Girl, throw a punch, I promise you jabbing wins more than it loses. In the meantime, it’s Gren, 5-2

And that’s it for me for another week! Go get bloody! 

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